


Paint me like one of your French girls

by idioticfangirl



Series: The Avengers Team-Building Shenanigans [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everyone Is Alive, F/M, M/M, Pietro is alive, Snark, Sorta Clintasha but more snark than flirting, Stony - Freeform, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team Feels, Teambuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury and Coulson are still trying to get the team to do team-building exercises, but they thought maybe they should be less public.  Solution?  Get them to paint each other.  What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint me like one of your French girls

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Tiếng Việt available: [Vẽ em như một trong những cô bạn người Pháp của anh](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7657195) by [TheLazyKat9x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLazyKat9x/pseuds/TheLazyKat9x)



The one sure sign that something bad was going to happen was Coulson smiling. Coulson only smiled when something Tony hated was going to happen, like lawyers or forced socialization or not being allowed to drink. So when Coulson strode into the meeting room that they had all been called to, smiling, Tony prepared for the worst.

"I hope none of you have plans this evening," Phil asked, except it wasn't a question, wasn't even a statement, it was more of an order. Immediately, Tony and the rest of the Avengers sat up, scouring the room for possible escape routes. Ignoring them, Coulson began to drag the spare chairs into a circle, and then pulled the team over to sit in specifically designated chairs.

"Is this a counselling session?" Tony drawled, "Because I really don't have time for this, I'm scheduled for," he made a show of checking his watch, "two hours of hitting my head against a wall, and it will have the same effects."

"Much as you could do with counselling, Stark, that's an issue for another day." Phil was pulling various items out of his briefcase as he spoke.

"How much have you got in that bag, Mary Poppins?" Tony joked, before taking in Steve's confused expression and exclaiming, "You haven't seen Mary Poppins? Oh God, I'm adding that to the list, we are so watching that!"

Clint snickered, "Sounds like a fun date," while Natasha did a surprisingly good job of hiding her grin.

Tony glanced at Steve, fully prepared to jump in and protect his honour if need be, but, though Steve's head was ducked, he was smiling and seemed to be blushing slightly.

Clint seemed ready to make another joke, and Tony had never been so grateful for Coulson's interruption. Honestly, stopping Clint from making jokes was a better service to the world than anything the Avengers, or SHIELD in general, had done before.

"Well, it looks like everyone's opposite the right people," Coulson clapped his hands, and Tony almost didn't want to know. He checked anyway. He was opposite Steve, Clint was opposite Natasha, Wanda was opposite Pietro, Thor was opposite Bruce, Sam was opposite Peter, and Bucky was opposite Vision. He was so engrossed in trying to work out why they would need to be opposite these particular people that he didn't notice he was being handed something, and was consequently whacked in the face with it by an impatient Natasha.

It was a set of paintbrushes, pencils and paints. A horrifying idea of what was going to happen was forming in Tony's head, only to be solidified as easels were set up in front of them.

"You are going to be painting the person opposite you. Try not to cover the room in paint, I quite like the carpet. Oh," Phil added as an afterthought, "try not to kill each other. I hate the paperwork. You have one hour." The stunned silence in the room after the door slammed shut would have been funny, had everyone in the room not been contemplating jumping out of the window in a final bid for freedom.

"Draw me naked, 'Tasha," Clint winked, "you have in-depth knowledge of that."

"I would," Natasha retorted, "but I'm not a good enough painter to do such small things in detail." Clint blinked, insulted, and Steve stepped in before a full on fight could break out. Tony was disappointed, the trash talk between those two was always entertaining.

"Okay guys, let's just do this. Play nice."

Tony found himself struggling. Mathematical drawings he could do, all lines and sharp angles, but he couldn't quite capture the curve of Steve's mouth or the angle of his jaw. He looked over his easel at Steve a lot, probably more than was strictly necessary considering he could by this point have probably mapped our Steve's face in his sleep, but not once did Steve look back at him. Tony swallowed the disappointment, and nearly swallowed his tongue as something came flying past his face. Clint was standing up, side on, aiming a paintbrush at his canvas. Tony just shrugged and moved on. 'Whatever floats your boat', he thought.

In a blur of colour and Steve's face, which makes it sound like Tony had a lot more fun than he did, the hour passed and it was time for the grand reveal. Clint went first, spinning the canvas around to show a painting, rather splodgy with drips and smears everywhere, but unmistakably Natasha. This guys aim was fucking incredible if he could paint by throwing things.

Natasha, in turn, showed her painting, a beautifully detailed scene of a city road, with cars passing by skyscrapers. It was perfect, except - 

"Where am I?"

In answer, she tapped a perfectly manicured fingernail on a small dot on one of the skyscrapers, smirking.

Wanda was already laughing as she spun hers around, to reveal an amateur drawing of an old man. "It's what you look like with your grey hair," she informed Pietro, who merely rolled his eyes and showed his painting, a hideous monster with green skin and red hair flowing like snaked from her head, "touche," Wanda nodded, and blushed when Sam muttered something about being unable to capture that much beauty without using magic.

By now visibly losing his faith in humanity, if he had any left to start with, Coulson moved on to Thor. His painting was - well, as you'd expect from Thor - vaguely recognizable as Bruce, but with a bit too much paint on the paintbrush and a bit too much force behind it. Still, he got full marks for trying.

Bruce's was also as expected, pretty accurate but without feeling, all cold lines based on science, not art. Thor thanked him heartily nonetheless.

After that brief peaceful interlude, chaos was once again restored with Sam's painting of Peter. Honestly, it wasn't that bad; Sam was no artist but it could have been much worse. All Peter had to say was, "My hair is not that ridiculous!"

When Peter showed his drawing, Sam gaped at it for a while. "You drew...a bird. You drew a fucking bird coming out of a fucking egg?"

"Actually," Peter grinned, "it's a falcon chick."

Coulson moved on before Peter sustained any serious bodily harm.

Unsurprisingly, Bucky couldn't do art to save his life, so Vision was just a red splodge of paint, but he didn't seem angry, turning his own canvas to reveal a true-to-life painting of Bucky so good Tony half expected it to leap out into the room.

Then it was Tony's turn. For some reason he was nervous, and had to wipe his sweaty hands on his jeans before turning the painting round. Everyone stared at it in silence for a second, which was long enough for Tony to start babbling. "I'm not a very good artist, sorry Steve, I couldn't do you justice, not that anyone could I mean look at you, I mean -"

Thankfully, Steve cut him off. "It's great, Tony, is there anything you're not good at?"

"Singing," Tony responded, waving a hand in the air, "so, Cap, are you gonna show yours?"

Steve obediently twisted his canvas, revealing a masterpiece. Tony was staring back at them, face screwed up in fierce concentration, the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, but he was grinning, and his eyes were crinkled with laughter. For a second Tony had an existential crisis, there was no way that that was just a painting.

"It's not very good, I've done better," Steve apologized, and Tony tore his eyes from the painting to look at him.

"No! There is no way you did something this good in an hour, you didn't even look at me!"

"I didn't have to," Steve admitted, blushing a bright red. Tony was vaguely aware of Clint humming 'Can you feel the love tonight' in the background, but he didn't care.

"Alright!" Sam broke in suddenly, "I've had enough of this! Tony, do you love Steve, yeah. Steve, do you love Tony, of course you do. Any objections? No. You may kiss the bride."

"Did you just marry us?" Steve asked, bemused.

"Go on a God damn date!" Sam yelled, practically shoving them out of the door.

"At what point do we tell them that this is, like, our sixth date?" queried Tony.

Steve winked. "Ahh, we'll let them work that one out for themselves," as he held the door open for Tony and they exited the building.

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing as I'm planning on doing a lot more of these, if anybody wants to give me any suggestions for anything the Avengers could do, I'll do them. As you've seen, I produce these really fast, and have no problem with ridiculous scenarios, so literally anything you want is fine by me, just comment or email me kitty122011@hotmail.co.uk


End file.
